If group video chat is heading down the wrong path, what would be a better one? How could you design group chat so that it makes conversation better and encourages everyone to speak up?

Here’s one big idea: We could design software that encourages not just talking but also listening.

Encouraging listening is incredibly powerful. I’ve spent decades in Silicon Valley (full disclosure: I worked at Apple as part of its early web and webcasting team) and applied ideas from the web, comedy, and organizing to create many in-person conversations as a performer and teacher of public speaking. I believe the single most important element in aiding someone to speak in a group is the feeling of being listened to with interest.

When you see a decent discussion panel at a conference (these miracles have happened), an attentive and engaged audience is more important to the quality of the debate than the loudest person talking. Feeling listened to and heard and welcome makes it more likely that someone will speak up. Quality conversation is built on how a speaker listens to and adds onto what previous speakers have said and on whether the speakers understand the issue and the perspectives of the other participants.

Let’s think about what this would look like as a piece of software design. What if the face you saw the most was that of the person who is most interested in what you have to say or the person you felt listened the most attentively? What if we had UX choices focused on feeling listened to that used machine learning to give positive feedback? What if tools rewarded good connections between people or people who made excellent points succinctly that resonated well with the group? And what if software teams began with deeper awareness and understanding of racism and misogyny and cultural difference in conversation and set goals of inclusion and respect?

Machines simply don’t do people stuff well.

When you’re onstage speaking to a large group, you can choose one person to focus on — you can see when they have a thoughtful expression, when they are paying attention or being quiet, and you can work to draw them out. These moments — where the main speaker notices and calls on someone — can give the large group a stronger conversational sense and help the way you speak be more natural and intimate. The quietest person in the room often has the greatest impact when they speak up, if space is made for them. Their input can be transformative for a conversation.

What if you could do the same in a group video chat? Group chat features could be trained to recognize interest and attention and reward choices made based on paying attention to others or increasing group involvement. What if a software company designed group video chat with the presumption that a person, not software, would lead the interpersonal decisions and conversation?