{"B4A39DDB00964LQ9":{"body":"
　　給你們講一個恐怖的故事：聽說從今天開始2015年只剩下100天了！<\/p>
　　2015年快過去了，年初定下的目標都達成了嗎？時間總是不知不覺匆匆地過去，不留下一絲痕跡。<\/p>
　　俗語有云：生命很短，我們真的沒必要浪費在安全地拔出USB上。<\/p>
　　感冒了去看醫生，醫生給了我一把殺豬刀，我問這是什麼意思，醫生說：時間是把殺豬刀，時間可以治癒一切，所以殺豬刀可以治癒一切。（銀教授）<\/p>
　　說起來，還有幾天就中秋節了，今年我覺得特別的奇怪，因為居然沒有人吐槽五仁月餅了。<\/p>
　　沒錯，五仁月餅這個梗估計已經慢慢淡出了大家的腦海，取而代之的是。。。
 
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　　其實人也是一樣的，如果我們自己不留下點紀錄，別人就會像忘記五仁月餅那樣忘記了你，然後慢慢愛上了老乾媽月餅。<\/p>
　　在今時今日，要留下歲月痕跡的方法還是相對簡單的——拿起手機，拍張自拍。<\/p>
　　我擁有特殊的拍全家福方式。<\/p>
　　巴基斯坦推特使用者釋出的印度軍隊在卡吉爾戰爭時的照片，箭頭指向了奇怪的東東。(肖寧)<\/p>
　　聽說流量不清零了，小編也表示要有所行動！<\/p>
　　想一起（幫小編）自拍嗎？快來應聘小編實習生！<\/p>
　　子曰：“人往往生於憂患，而死於自拍。”<\/p>

　　據統計，2015年至今，自拍造成的死亡人數已經超過了鯊魚襲擊，一共12起。其中，4起是由於自拍時摔倒。其他還包括，自拍時被汽車或火車撞到，爬上危險設施拍照等。
 
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　　（PK投票：你經常自拍嗎？）<\/p>

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　　自拍猛於鯊！死了都要拍！<\/p>
　　其實，死於鯊魚襲擊的那幾個案例裡，有幾宗都是“潛水時和鯊魚自拍被咬死”；只是因為統計方便，沒有算在了自拍致死裡面。<\/p>
　　如果加上看到太醜的自拍導致噁心致死的，估計死傷者可能是成千上萬。<\/p>
　　這是你發在網上的自拍，和你實際的顏。<\/p>
　　重慶一男子見女網友嫌其醜，怒稱女子與照片差別大，結果被對方扇耳光，兩人動起手來打架。<\/p>
　　熱心市民前來調停：關了燈都一樣，你們執著什麼呢？！
 
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　　自己約的炮，含著眼淚也要打完！<\/p>
　　每當看到電視上女主角說：“你得到的只是我的肉體，得不到我的靈魂”我內心都回一句：“老紙要的就是肉體！！”<\/p>
　　志玲啊，是你照相機壞了嗎？<\/p>

　　日前，臺灣女星林志玲網上晒照，其事業線竟然“消失”了，網友紛紛好奇地問：胸呢？<\/p>
　　聯想起冰冰早前的照片，我不由得打了個冷顫。<\/p>
　　難道，女人的胸，也像男人的那啥一樣，也會伸縮變大變小？！<\/p>
　　眼見不一定是真實，要摸過才知道。作為新聞從業員的胖編表示一定要去尋找真相。<\/p>
　　但話說回來，隨著拍照手機的普及，我們也真的漸漸失去了用雙眼感受寶貴瞬間的能力了。<\/p>
　　【怒刷存在感】<\/p>

　　最近，有很多人選擇了用拜年的方式來刷存在感。<\/p>
　　有的人很不喜歡拍照和寫日記這種事，我覺得他們很笨，萬一有一天你突然死了，這世界上就會沒有你存在過的痕跡。<\/p>
　　統計表明，很多男人懶到都不自己動手擼，而是在地板上鑽一個洞，然後把丁丁放進去，等待地震的到來。<\/p>
　　老婆站在沙灘上，在老公面前不停地搔首弄姿。“怎麼樣？”她說，“我減掉了一斤，你能看出我和以前有什麼區別嗎？”老公撿起一塊小石頭扔進大海，然後說：“海灘上少了一塊石頭，你能看出有什麼區別嗎？”<\/p>
　　存在感對於一個人有多重要，從半壁音帝汪峰的一生就可以略知一二。<\/p>
　　音帝又上頭條了！近日，有網友爆料，汪峰在洛杉磯賭場現身玩牌，身邊未見章子怡陪伴。<\/p>
　　汪峰深情地問：你的夢想是——賭多大？<\/p>
　　做偷雞摸狗之事的人往往是不想留下紀錄的，但時代變了，現在的小偷，也很明白存在感這個道理。<\/p>
　　西安一名小偷偷了路邊停車的後視鏡後竟然大膽地留下了字條：“您的倒車鏡在我這，加QQ&hellip;…”而更奇葩的是，在這個小偷字條之下，還有一張字條：“賊已抓到、速到派出所來”字條最後面還留著派出所的電話，以及辦案警官的名字。<\/p>
　　哎，現在的小偷都與時俱進，學習網際網路思維，開始講求互動了。以後我們能不能給小偷打好評差評啊？<\/p>
　　比光明正大貼紙條的小偷更奇葩的，還有這位光天化日性侵的大叔。<\/p>

　　英國最近發生了一連串令人匪夷所思的性侵案件，一名46歲男子強森因為“性侵”一個公園的“滑梯”而遭到警方逮捕；警方表示，這已經不是強森第一次侵犯溜滑梯，現在，他已經被禁止進入任何有滑梯的公園。<\/p>
　　對，我說的真的就是那種遊樂場的滑梯！警方說，每次發現強森在作案，他都是在滑梯上脫得一絲不掛。<\/p>
　　好可憐的單身狗，弱問一句：滑梯這麼寬的坑道，真的有快感嗎？<\/p>
　　“日了狗”原來還不是最猛的，現在要說“我日了滑梯”！<\/p>
　　和小姨子在看電視，突然那些亂來的劇情，我生氣的說：俗話說兔子不吃窩邊草，這人怎麼。小姨嬌滴滴望著我打斷說：可草不這麼想呀，誰吃還不是吃，還不如讓臉熟的吃，你說是吧姐夫？<\/p>
　　小偷和強姦犯都不再是“神出鬼沒”，因為鬼怪也開始現形了。<\/p>
　　胖編做了這麼久《胖編怪談》，我甚至覺得，現在連妖魔鬼怪都要爭搶著“出鏡”來留下點陽間的紀錄。<\/p>

　　最近，杭州一對夫婦在午夜開車時撞見了不明物體，記錄儀更拍下了詭異畫面。這對的夫婦第一反應，這“物體”是碰瓷。<\/p>
　　小夥子，放心啦，我保證這肯定不是碰瓷，你一定是見到鬼了。<\/p>
　　十字路口，東邊來的大爺和南邊來的大爺各騎一自行車相遇了。在兩車只差0.0001KM就要相撞的一剎那。兩個大爺都死死地捏住了左右剎車，腳不沾地的騎在車上。3秒鐘之後，雙雙倒地。有旁觀者散出訊息：這是一場碰瓷黨的同門切磋！<\/p>
　　歡迎接下來收看《走進科學》之馬路上的怪人——是鬼是人，撞過去不就知道了嗎？<\/p>
　　這哥們不是鬼怪，他是大神！他告訴我們一個道理，低調淡定往往是刷存在感的最好方式。<\/p>

　　一段網上視訊拍攝了一位小販攤主與城管發生衝突互毆的情形，而現場一位男子竟然全程淡定地坐著吃麵！<\/p>
　　自己花錢買的面，含著淚抖著腿也要吃完！<\/p>
　　啊！我只是一個不明真相的吃麵群眾。<\/p>
　　看到他的淡定，我心感佩服，對於這淡定哥，我只想問一句：你吃完麵付錢了嗎！<\/p>
　　又病了，好像是急腸胃炎，跟爹說我上吐下瀉了一整晚。他做出嚴肅而驚訝的表情問:多大的碗？（兩色風景嘎）<\/p>
　　當然，要刷存在感，我們也要有所為，有所不為。<\/p>

　　做這樣沒公德的事，你是留下了紀錄，但也沒有了做人的意義。<\/p>

　　重慶網友爆料，一名女子坐地鐵連嗑瓜子12站，瓜子殼也扔在車廂一地。<\/p>
　　哎，這妹子穿的這麼光鮮，真的不像個腦殘啊。<\/p>
　　妹子表示：如果不吃瓜子解悶，我的急性短暫性精神病就要發作了！<\/p>
　　但話說回來，拍照的網友說“12站”是怎麼數出來的？為什麼沒有數出嗑了多少粒瓜子？<\/p>
　　至於金華這位酒店保潔工，因為拿了2張工作單位廁所手紙而被公示因偷盜開除，此事引起了巨大爭議。<\/p>
　　（PK投票：你覺得她該罰嗎？）<\/p>

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　　胖編覺得，便宜還是莫貪吧，做個光明磊落的人，才能夠留下光光鮮鮮的做人紀錄。<\/p>
　　學學這位小夥吧！我相信他以後的人生，會活得很有存在感。<\/p>

　　美國一名男子週末休假在家時訂了外送披薩和雞翅，沒想到送來的卻是1300元美金（約合人民幣8288元）。他最終選擇將錢還回去；而此舉獲得店家大力的讚許，並以“一年份的免費披薩”作為回報。<\/p>
　　銀行也開始送外賣了嗎？<\/p>

　　“喂，你好，麻煩我要一份人民幣！不要辣，要多點香菜！”<\/p>
　　領導說：有啥奇怪的，每年中秋節收到的月餅盒裡也有現金呢！<\/p>
　　故天將降大任於斯人也，必先苦其心志，勞其筋骨，餓其體膚，空乏其身，行拂亂其所為...然後老天說：“不好意思認錯人了。”<\/p>
　　俗語說，人怕出名豬怕壯，可是現在的豬，要留下名聲，已經不靠“壯”了。<\/p>

　　汶川地震中奇蹟般存活了38天的“豬堅強”，它的後代成為了寵物豬了，估計身價過萬。<\/p>
　　尼瑪啊，這年頭連豬都拼爹！你說論身材論體型，我胖編有什麼比不上這豬二代？<\/p>
　　話說，啥時候評選一個“感動咱們的十大動物”？<\/p>
　　一民宅失火，消防隊到場後聽見屋內傳來“救命！”“失火了！”的求救聲，趕緊衝了進去，結果發現裡面空無一人，喊救命的是兩隻鸚鵡，於是就把鸚鵡們救出來吸氧，狀況良好。所以說，會一門外語真是太特麼重要了！<\/p>
　　豬命也能比人命還貴，確實很諷刺。我不禁問自己：普通人還有啥意義？<\/p>
　　【存在的意義】<\/p>

　　別以為胖編在故弄玄虛談一些高深的哲學問題，其實很多道理，在日常生活和新聞中都能有所領悟。<\/p>
　　有的人，他們的存在意義，是努力地突破理想。<\/p>

　　日本京都105歲老人宮崎秀吉100米跑最年長的參與者的世界紀錄，他在創紀錄後做出了博爾特的經典動作。<\/p>

　　這才是真正的“世界紀錄”！<\/p>
　　有的人，他們的存在意義，是做回自我。<\/p>

　　在廣州舉行的一場選美比賽上，曾榮獲全國道德模範稱號、成功接受變性手術的劉婷（術前名為劉霆）參賽，並獲得大獎。接受變性手術後參賽選美，劉婷成為全國的第一人。<\/p>
　　對於劉婷，無論你喜不喜歡他的變性形象，但他確實是當今中國最勇敢做回自己的人之一。<\/p>

　　這位國外的輪椅小妹，她也表示：無論是怎樣的殘疾，也不會阻礙她去做她喜歡的事。<\/p>
　　最重要的是，我們都不應該留下遺憾。<\/p>

　　真正有意義的活著，大約有點像太湖底下撈起的石頭，是洗淨塵泥後的硬瘦剔透，上面還附著一生歲月所沖積洗刷出的浪痕。<\/p>
　　中秋節前胖編的最後一期，求大家用力打賞，我才能吃得起老乾媽月餅！<\/p>

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　　【輕鬆一刻以物換物第一輪】<\/p>

　　主編的裙子，有誰想拿走嗎？<\/p>

　　猛截傳送門：輕鬆一刻上頭條<\/p>
　　【輕鬆一刻智商測試（第八期）】<\/p>

　　你得急性短暫性精神病了嗎？快進來測一下！智商不足的自然得病也容易啦！<\/p>

　　每週更新，敬請期待！（多玩幾次更準確哦！）<\/p>

　　請猛戳：<\/p>

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　　裝逼不是應該打120嗎？打110有什麼用。<\/p>
　　有反轉的才叫結局。看開頭就知道結尾的那是美國電影。<\/p>
　　樓下的人太多了，已略。<\/p>
　　下面這些英文名對應的是武俠小說中的哪個人物？知道的來捧個道場。<\/p>
　　上期答案：開放性問題，吃翔狗最長，那我們就讓他上吧。<\/p>
　　他們是在解鎖什麼姿勢？<\/p>
　　上期吐槽大PK！<\/p>
　　你覺得誰的吐槽逗樂了你呢？<\/p>

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　　熟悉的老課文，遠去的童年時光，你還記得這些圖片嗎？<\/p>
　　月光曲<\/p>

　　貝多芬走近茅屋，琴聲突然停了，屋子裡有人在談話。 師生情一個姑娘說∶“這首曲子多難彈啊！我只聽別人彈過幾遍，總是記不住該怎樣彈，要是能聽一聽貝多芬自己是怎樣彈的，那有多好啊！”一個男的說∶“是啊，可是音樂會的入場券太貴了，咱們又太窮。”<\/p>
　　我的弟弟小蘿蔔頭兒<\/p>

　　宋振中八個月的時候，被帶進了監獄。由於終年住在陰暗、潮溼的牢房裡，吃的是發黴發臭的米飯，長到八九歲時，個頭卻只有四五歲孩子那麼高，成了一個大頭細身子、面黃肌瘦的孩子，難友們都疼愛地叫他“小蘿蔔頭”。多麼悲慘啊！<\/p>
　　珍貴的教科書<\/p>

　　我撲到指導員身上大聲喊：“指導員......”喊了好半天，指導員嘴裡叨唸著：“書......書......”我說：“書都在這兒。走，我揹你回村。”他輕輕地搖了搖頭，兩眼望著那捆書，用微弱的聲音說：“你們要......好好學習......將來......”<\/p>

　　最後附贈一張閏土<\/p>
　　三張小學語文課本插圖，你印象最深刻的是哪一張呢？<\/p>

　　<\/p>","users":[],"replyCount":5474,"ydbaike":[],"link":[{"ref":"輕鬆一刻上頭條","title":"輕鬆一刻上頭條","href":"http://c.3g.163.com/nc/qa/headline/index.html?topicclass=%E8%BD%BB%E6%9D%BE%E4%B8%80%E5%88%BB%E4%B8%8A%E5%A4%B4%E6%9D%A1"},{"ref":"","title":"輕鬆一刻智商測試（第八期）","imgsrc":"http://img5.cache.netease.com/3g/2015/9/18/201509181839302bfe4.jpg","digest":"急性精神病，你有嗎？","type":"linkCard","href":"http://3g.163.com/ntes/15/0918/18/B3QJI0GB00964JJM.html"}],"votes":[{"digest":"哪一張小學課本插圖讓你印象最深刻？哪一張小學課本插圖讓你印象最深刻？","date":"2015-09-24","date_type":0,"option_type":0,"url":"","sumnum":9429,"ref":"","docid":"","voteid":"44559","voteitem":[{"id":"208289","num":2461,"name":"月光曲"},{"id":"208290","num":4392,"name":"我的弟弟小蘿蔔頭兒"},{"id":"208291","num":2576,"name":"珍貴的教科書"}],"imgsrc":"","voteType":"normalVote","question":"哪一張小學課本插圖讓你印象最深刻？"},{"digest":"你經常自拍嗎？你經常自拍嗎？你經常自拍嗎？","date":"2015-09-24","date_type":0,"option_type":0,"url":"","sumnum":7192,"ref":"","docid":"","voteid":"44571","voteitem":[{"id":"208322","num":565,"name":"經常自拍"},{"id":"208323","num":6627,"name":"不怎麼自拍"}],"imgsrc":"","voteType":"pkVote","question":"你經常自拍嗎？"},{"digest":"你覺得她該罰嗎？你覺得她該罰嗎？你覺得她該罰嗎？","date":"2015-09-24","date_type":0,"option_type":0,"url":"","sumnum":3803,"ref":"","docid":"","voteid":"44572","voteitem":[{"id":"208324","num":1037,"name":"該罰，偷東西不對"},{"id":"208325","num":2766,"name":"酒店小題大作"}],"imgsrc":"","voteType":"pkVote","question":"你覺得她該罰嗎？"},{"digest":"誰的吐槽語逗樂了你呢？誰的吐槽語逗樂了你呢？","date":"2015-09-24","date_type":0,"option_type":0,"url":"","sumnum":1776,"ref":"","docid":"","voteid":"44558","voteitem":[{"id":"208287","num":641,"name":"本帖第一逗比"},{"id":"208288","num":1135,"name":"1xx04410300"}],"imgsrc":"","voteType":"pkVote","question":"誰的吐槽語逗樂了你呢？"}],"img":[{"ref":"","pixel":"431*459","alt":"","src":"http://img3.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/2015092417283796819.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"436*412","alt":"","src":"http://img2.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/20150924172912a563b.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"324*335","alt":"","src":"http://img3.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/2015092417302833601.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"320*738","alt":"","src":"http://img3.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/20150924173121226d4.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"489*299","alt":"","src":"http://img6.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/20150924173225f95d8.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"541*348","alt":"","src":"http://img5.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/20150924173306e6084.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"473*472","alt":"","src":"http://img4.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/201509241733081a868.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"421*417","alt":"","src":"http://img5.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/2015092418154726fb1.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"433*389","alt":"","src":"http://img3.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/201509241733108b93c.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"396*295","alt":"","src":"http://img3.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/201509241735008121a.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"550*330","alt":"","src":"http://img5.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/201509241737439202d.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"502*522","alt":"","src":"http://img4.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/20150924173540ecd05.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"345*793","alt":"","src":"http://img4.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/201509241736075f037.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"550*547","alt":"","src":"http://img3.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/2015092417370925613.png"},{"ref":"","pixel":"290*301","alt":"","src":"http://img1.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/201509241739372ead2.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"550*377","alt":"","src":"http://img6.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/2015092417410940d65_550.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"338*200","alt":"","src":"http://img3.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/201509241738532409a.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"270*255","alt":"","src":"http://img1.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/20150924174356ef634.gif"},{"ref":"","pixel":"277*798","alt":"","src":"http://img5.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/20150924174240bbb53.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"429*744","alt":"","src":"http://img6.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/201509241745236733c.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"424*680","alt":"","src":"http://img1.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/2015092417460273c4d.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"507*322","alt":"","src":"http://img6.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/20150924185413bfa9e.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"538*345","alt":"","src":"http://img4.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/20150924174636480a1.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"295*414","alt":"","src":"http://img4.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/2015092417470529e2f.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"500*710","alt":"","src":"http://img6.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/2015092417473895d50.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"425*449","alt":"","src":"http://img3.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/20150924174905c2f3c.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"476*610","alt":"","src":"http://img6.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/20150924174949f041b.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"550*327","alt":"","src":"http://img3.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/20150924175015488cc_550.jpg"},{"ref":"","pixel":"391*592","alt":"","src":"http://img2.cache.netease.com/m/2015/9/24/20150924175134392fe.jpg"},{"ref":"","pix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