我成長過程中  我媽對我嚴苛嗎                Was my mom hard on me growing up?

是  絕對是                                               Yeah, she was.

但是你知道嗎  當時                                  But you know what? Back then

貝蒂·弗萊頓和格洛莉亞·斯坦正火著呢     everything was Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem.

她們都不明白...                                       They didn't understand-

-我們回來了喲  -好啊                              - Hola! We're back. - Hello.

-逛得咋樣啊  -非常棒                              - Hey, how'd it go? - It was great.

-你跟盧克玩得開心嗎  -這個嘛                - Did you have fun with Luke? - Well, not-

我們姐弟倆談得很開心                            We had a great time.

艾麗克斯  我想過了                                 Alex, I've been thinking,

and...

你不想穿裙子參加婚禮                            if you don't want to wear a dress to the wedding,

也沒什麼大不了的                                   it's not the end of the world.

沒關係  我買了一條                                 It's all right. I bought one.

現在你看到她是怎麼氣我的了嗎              Do you see how she has to provoke me?

我們下週再聊這個話題                            We'll talk about it next week.

克萊爾                                                     Claire!

讓開道  進來                                            Clear the way. Coming through. Ow!

小心點  注意  夥計                                   Coming through. Easy. Easy, fella. Ow!

-我的臉得好好歇歇了  -你沒事的              - I need to rest my face. - You're fine.

你會沒事的  堅持住                                  You'll be all right. Hang on.

-老天啊  -進家門了                                   - Oh, my God! - Get the door.

爸                                                            Ah! Dad?

小事故  沒啥大不了的                             Little accident. Nothing big.

-是飛機失事啦  -發生什麼事了                - I was in a plane crash. - What happened?

我們正在玩穿針引線那一招  有人動了     We were threading the needle, and somebody moved.

哪有  人家才沒有  你是故意的                  No, I didn't. You did it on purpose.

他吃了止痛藥  說胡話呢                           That's the painkiller talking.

                                        

他有點暈乎乎的                                       He's a little loopy.

                                      

-到底有多嚴重  -機翼裂了                - How bad is it? - Well, the wing is cracked,

-螺旋槳也折了  但我  -我指菲爾      - the propeller's bent, but I can- I can- - I mean Phil.

                                  

-飛機失事了  -真"謝謝"你了  爸        - I was in a plane crash. - Thanks, Dad.

我又沒讓他站那  他非得去               I didn't ask him to be there. He insisted.

他非要冒險  就這樣而已                  He took a chance. This is what happened.

就像你上次開車軋他腳一樣             Kind of like the time you ran over his foot.

你軋過他的腳嗎                              You ran over his foot?

-意外而已  -爸  你明明是故意的      - That was an accident. - You know, Dad, you did it on purpose.

我們都看到草坪上的輪胎印了          We all saw the tire marks on the lawn.

我那會兒剛戒菸嘛                           I had just quit smoking.

瞧  你說得你老公心煩意亂了           See, you're upsetting your husband.

-水  -我去拿                                     - Water. - I'll get it.

你還好吧                                         Ay. You okay?

歌洛莉亞  謝謝老天爺  你在這         Gloria! Thank God you're here.

別擔心  我也在這兒                         Don't worry. I'm here too.

你是誰啊                                         Who's this?

不是我的錯                                      Wasn't my fault.

我見你玩過無數次"穿針引線"那一招 I have seen you thread the needle a million times.

你從來沒失過手                               You never miss.

沒錯  我大概是寶刀已老                   Yeah. I must be getting old.

你為什麼就不願承認呢  你不喜歡菲爾 Why don't you just admit it? You never liked Phil.

放下  才不給你吃曲奇餅呢                Put that down. You do not get a cookie.

我喜歡菲爾                                                    I like Phil.

只是有時他有點太刻意討好我了  你懂嗎        It's just that sometimes he tries too hard, you know?

實在有點惹人生氣                                         And it's just kind of- irritating.

好吧  也許他過於刻意討好                            Okay, maybe he tries too hard

因為你從來不主動和他親近                           because you make zero effort with him.

你知道嗎  在我跟他結婚的16年裡                 You know what? In the 16 years that we've been married,

你有跟他說過一次你喜歡他嗎                        have you one time told him that you liked him?

-我只是沒明確說"喜歡"二字嘛  -才不是           - Not in those exact words, no. - No.

你什麼都沒說過  爸                                       Not in any words, Dad.

你知道那讓我心裡多難過嗎                           How do you think that makes me feel?

你從沒告訴過你的孩子你愛他嗎                   You've never told your son that you love him?

等等等等  什麼時候上升到愛的高度了           Whoa, whoa. When did we jump to love?

而且準確地說  他又不是我的孩子                 And he's technically not my son.

-那就是說你也不愛曼尼嗎  -當然愛             - Ah. So that means that you don't love Manny either? - Sure, I do.

相信我  當我剛剛在公園玩飛機時                I mean, believe me, when I was in that park,

我真希望曼尼跟我一起                                I really wished Manny was there.

為什麼                                                        For what?

那樣你就可以用飛機爆他頭了是嗎             So that you could fly the plane into his head? Huh?

爸  多謝你能把菲爾送回家                         Dad, thanks so much for bringing Phil home.

我在他頭髮裡發現了你機翼的碎片             I found one of your little flaps in his hair. So-

實際上  這是副翼的碎片                             Actually, this is called an aileron.

-用來保持...-現在重要的是菲爾才對吧       - It controls... - because that's what matters right now.

爸  請你離開                                              Bye, Dad.

-菲爾  -傑                                                  - Hey, Phil. - Jay.

你是陶瓷做的嗎                                         What are you, made of china?

菲爾  我只想讓你明白我的歉意                  Phil, I just want you to know I'm sorry.

不管是因為我失手了  還是你動了               And whether I, uh, missed or you moved-

-我才沒動  -都好                                         - I didn't. - either way.

我只想讓你知道  我喜歡你                         I just want to say that I like you.

-真的嗎  -必須的                                      - Really? - Yeah.

那你能說說喜歡人傢什麼地方嗎               What do you like about me?

你是個好人                                              You're a nice guy.

非常努力                                                 Try real hard.

沒錯                                                         I do.

你還是個好父親                                      And you're a good dad.

我是個好父親  快來                                   Hey, I'm a good dad. Come here.

讓我熊抱一個                                          Come here, you.

感覺真棒                                                This feels so right.

什麼情況                                                What's going on?

發生了一點小意外                                  There was a little accident,

不過傑在對菲爾表明愛意                        but Jay's telling Phil how much he loves him.

好吧  菲爾走運了                                   Oh. Well, that's nice for Phil.

真好                                                      That's great,

他可從來沒對我男人表現過愛意呢         since he's never said anything like that to my boyfriend.

-別提了  -不行  我氣不過                       - Let it go. - No, it's not okay.

不  米奇說的對  小卡  你也去抱抱          No, Mitch is right. Go in there too, Cam. Come on.

開什麼玩笑                                             You're kidding.

-傑  -我來吧                                          - Jay! - I'm gonna get this.

-來吧  小卡  -就抱一小下                        - Come on in, Cam. - Just a little hug.

-過來吧  -快說                                      - Get in here. - Say it.

-我勒個去  -快說  快說                          - Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! - Say it! Say it!

小卡  我也喜歡你                                   I like you too, Cam.

-那你喜歡他哪一點    -天吶                   - What do you like about him? - Oh, jez.

                                    

你從哪弄來的攝影機                              Where did you get that camera?

從世上最給力的商場裡買來的                 Only the greatest store on earth.

謝謝你  爸                                              Thanks, Dad.

曼尼  照相啦  快來                                  Manny, picture! Get in there too.

快來  我的好小夥                                     Get in here, mi amigo. Oh!

別動  跟我說"茄子                                 " Stay still. Say "Cheese."

                                    

-別擠我  -茄子                                         - Don't push it. - Cheese!

拍好了                                                      Picture.

-茄子  -茄子                                            - Cheese! - Cheese. Queso.

天啊                                                         Oh, boy!

不覺得好像伸出手臂就能擁抱全世界嗎     Doesn't it feel like these arms could go around the world?

我想我背部好像扭傷了                              I think I strained something.

                                         

我一直想要個女兒                                    I always wanted a daughter-

給她穿漂亮的小裙子                                to dress her up in pretty dresses,

                                    

給她做頭髮  美甲  化妝                              do her hair, her nails, her makeup.

透露個小祕密  曼尼一歲的時候                 No one knows this, but for the first year of his life,

我把他打扮得跟個女孩似的                       I made up Manny like a girl

逢人就說他是我女兒                                 and told everybody that he was my daughter.

不過也就那麼幾次                                   Ay, but just for a few times.

我可不想讓他對自己的性別產生困惑        I didn't want to mess with his head.

當他看到他小時候的照片                          When he found the pictures,

我告訴他那是他已經死了的雙胞胎姐姐     I told him that it was his twin sister who died.